Domestic Violence - How we can Help You

Domestic Violence - How we can Help You

Posted Date:2020-04-26

Update:  The increase in domestic violence cases amidst the Covid-19 lockdown is a serious concern for us.  Charities and helplines are recording in increase in phonecalls for help amidst the pressure cooker tensions in domestic violence households.  If you are in urgent danger, please call 999 to get assistance.  Otherwise please contact us as below.  Stay Safe !  Stay Strong !

Evey year many Indian women come to UK as a spouse of a British citizen or along with their husbands who come to UK on work visas.   They are thrilled at the prospect of living the London dream, excited at the chance of living the attractive glamorous UK lifestyles that Indian cinema and soaps have been feeding us; only to realise when they come here that reality is actually far removed from fiction.

If they are married into a loving family with a caring husband, the settling in process is relatively easy and the wife soon adjusts to the pros and cons of living in UK and gets into the eventual happy routine of kids, foreign holidays, family gatherings, juggling work/home and so on.

But unfortunately for some women, the dream turns into a nightmare.   They end up victums of domestic abuse by husband/in laws and as they are new to the UK, they have absolutely no idea who to turn to.   There have been incidents of forced marriages, of girls from India coming to UK after marriage only to realise that husband has married under parental pressure and does not really care about them, has a girlfriend/boy friend and not interested in the wife, girl brought to UK to serve more like a maid then be a life partner, extra marital affairs and others.

Domestic violence does not mean physical violence only. 

It can be emotional abuse, economic abuse, spiritual abuse and negligence as well.

 

There are no tickboxes for who can suffer from domestic violence.  Whether arranged marriage or love marriage, rich or poor, educated or illiterate, young or old, working or house wife, tall or short; it can happen with any woman.

If you are reading this and you are suffering from domestic violence, to you IIW says:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE !

NO, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT !

We are here for you to help, support and guide you.  We will not judge you or point a finger at you.

Inspiring Indian Women hosts a tv chat show on MATV channel called Nari tu Narayani where we discuss women’s issues.  We had talked about domestic violence and the help you can get.   You can catch up on the episode on facebook via link below.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2533121733587375&id=100006687189464

 

Gaslighting is common in abusive relationships which erodes away your self confidence and makes you feel unworthy.   Do not let your abusive partner put you down !

 Domestic abuse or violence is a crime and should be reported to the police - there are also other  organisations who can offer you help and support.

Call 999 if it’s an emergency or you’re in immediate danger.

The police take domestic violence seriously and will be able to help and protect you.

If you feel unsafe at home because of someone you live with, you can call the Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 for confidential advice 24/7.

The Respect charity phone line 0808 8024040 is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

IIW does not receive any direct funding from council /government to support domestic violence victims but we have a large and strong network with various organisations and we can point you in the right direction.  You of course do not have to pay for any help you receive from such organisations / charities, they are government funded and get help from government to help you.

There are refuges where you can live with you and your children if you no longer feel safe and need to leave the marital home.  Your abusive partner is never given this address and you are safe.

 

IIW can give you advice and support.

You can reach us with your problems at  ---------- help@inspiringindianwomen.org.

All communication will be strictly private and confidential.

 

You can also contact organisations as below.

 

The Indian embassy via:

Indian High Commission – Aldwych, London

London@HighCommissionofIndiainUK

Assistance to Distressed Indian Women Cell –

Ph – 0207 632 3091,  0044 7768765035

Email- womencell.london@mea.gov.in

 

‘Saheli’ is one of our partner organisations who can support you immensely if you are a victim of domestic violence.    Krishna Pujara, CEO of Saheli has always been at the forefront in upliftment of women.  

http://saheli.org.uk/   Ph – 07483166493

Saheli can help with advice, support, legal advice, mental health support and counselling.

 

We have Adrija Biswas, Mrs India UK Universe 2019, also supporting IIW in her cause to support women facing domestic violence.

Here is what she has to say :  https://youtu.be/6dgKzwWEdxA

Seema Dhanak – Domestic Violence Advisor for IIW

Ph – 07949 127213

Email – seemadhanak@gmail.com

 

Kirti Soni – Counsellor for IIW

Ph – 07769 319351

Email – kirtisoni@hotmail.co.uk

 

If you just need to talk to someone for moral support or need information/guidance, some domestic violence charities have outreach workers who can come and meet you at a local venue like park/café and advise you.  Nobody else would know about it.

We have a brilliant law firm, Aschfords Law on board as well that can help with legal family advice. 

Shalini Bhargava is a renowned divorce lawyer based in Harrow, London and a champion for women’s causes as well.   Initial advice might be free, fees could be applicable later on.

https://www.aschfordslaw.com/

Ph – 0203 002 9147

For online confidential chat:

https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

 

MET Police advice and helpful phone numbers:

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/support-helplines/

 

There are many organisations in UK that are keenly offering help and support to women suffering domestic violence:

https://southallblacksisters.org.uk/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://www.solacewomensaid.org/

https://www.asianwomencentre.org.uk/

https://www.refuge.org.uk/

https://roshnibirmingham.org.uk/

https://www.wa-leicester.org.uk/

https://karmanirvana.org.uk/

https://womensaid.scot/

https://www.womensaid.ie/help/

 

Domestic violence can happen with men too.  If you know someone who needs support:

 

https://mensadviceline.org.uk/

https://www.mankind.org.uk/help-for-victims/types-of-domestic-abuse/

 

There is no need to suffer in silence and no shame or guilt in reaching out.

 

STAY SAFE !  STAY STRONG !